The ZUV Tricycle Is Quite Ugly, but It Still Puts Your e-Bike to Shame
I’ve had about 6 bikes stolen over the years in the city, and then later when my ugly little Ukrainian throwback got stolen, possibly “removed” from my street, it got me thinking about the best strategies for keeping my bike safe and sound.
Writes Rick Polito, author of a bike guide writes: “Nature is a master of disguise. The tiger swallowtail caterpillar starts out as a bird dropping to discourage hungry birds…having an ugly bike doesn’t mean having a junky bike. A bike thief may see the gem under the Krylon, but he also knows he can’t sell it as quickly as the tricked out speedster at the other end of the bike rack.”
How to make your bike ugly and theft-proof
When I buy shiny new bikes, I take care of them. I bring them in my house, I buy them a good lock, they feel safe and secure to drive… but after my last new metallic purple street bike got stolen, I imagined it was time to buy the ugliest bike I could get my hands on. Certainly no thief wants an ugly bike. It turns out they do, but it takes longer for the ultimate act to take place.
Some tips to “ugly” your bike:
1. Remove any flashy stickers or brand name labels from your bike.
2. Buy second hand so the bike already looks worn.
3. Repaint it with a cheap matte black or army green spray paint. Don’t be modest with the paint. Over-spraying is a good thing. Not on the gears, chain, or brakes though.
4. Decorate it with ugly stickers, possibly a car air freshener, or fake animal fur.
5. Attach a milk crate or a rusty rack for carrying stuff.
6. Fake rust your bike with modern spray paint from the hardware store.
7. Tear a hole in your saddle (when it’s raining cover with plastic bag).
8. Add some duct tape to the frame.
9. Consider adding some streamers or spokey dokeys.
10. Visit U-G-L-Y Your Bike, a great how-to guide that offers step-by-step tips to keep your “first class ride” from the hands of thieves.
Author: Karin Kloosterman
Karin Kloosterman is an award-winning journalist and publisher that founded Green Prophet to unite a prosperous Middle East. She shows through her work that positive, inspiring dialogue creates action that impacts people, business and planet. She has published in thought-leading newspapers and magazines globally, owns an IoT tech chip patent, and is part of teams that build world-changing products to make agriculture and our planet more sustainable. Reach out directly to [email protected]
Nice post…do you think the thieves recognize the old classics — schwinn and raleigh from the 60s or are they only looking for the hip road bikes and mountain bikes?
Most of my bikes were stolen in Tel Aviv, north and south. I don’t understand your reasoning. Move to a boring suburb so my bike won’t get stolen? Seriously? Do people even bother to ride bikes in Savion – an upper class city that requires personal transport to move you throughout suburbia for basic needs like groceries, blood tests and a good coffee shop? No thank you. Savion is exactly the opposite of where I would like to live.
i live in a suburb (givat shmuel) and i have had 3 bikes stolen in the past 6 months (from right next to my building). two of them were ugly and one was not. the ugliest one was actually stolen after the least amount of time. people just steal for regardless of where and what and the only solution is to bring it into your apartment. either that or install video cameras.
Nice post,
The word “nice shiny bike” comes from the latin word “steelus meuus” which is quite self explanitory, now throw in the setting of Yaffo and do the math, if you owned a basta in the shuk, you could leave your bike where you want without a lock, a thief wont steal from his own,so here is my take on this dilema,, insite a small riot,nothing to grand,60 70 close friends and storm Tel-Aviv in the name of Alla, once caught and put through your quite just deserves you should spend a good few years in jail, where over time you will befriend a number of undesirables ( some from Yaffo you must hope)then INFILLTRATE. Take the next few years bonding with em, till one day they let you meet the boss, give him your sad bike problem and beg he put the word on steet that your bike is sacred,then you can leave the bike like a normal person without the fear of the yaffo bike mafia,”doin another job on ya” OR
MOVE TO SAVION
good luck and smile
Mark
I didn't make my bike ugly… 🙁 It was stolen 2 weeks ago from my house. Locked tight outside, and inside a gated wall, with a pit bull guarding the house. Sneaky thieves, but it leaves me feeling deflated. . . thieves suck.
I didn't make my bike ugly… 🙁 It was stolen 2 weeks ago from my house. Locked tight outside, and inside a gated wall, with a pit bull guarding the house. Sneaky thieves, but it leaves me feeling deflated. . . thieves suck.
Try deflating your tires and carrying around and air pump.
Ratter!!!!!!!
Rat Bikes, Rat Cars, etc
It is the new cool
ugly bikes will soon become “cool” then you’ll have to pretty it up again.
wow. that’s a good story, karin and i love the varied responses. justin kliger has a folding bike in tel aviv and i think he loves it. he wants to come to green drinks stat. if you want some stickers for your bike, let me know. we’ve got the green mother-load of stickers, each reminicscent of some eco-campaign in israel in the last ten years.
Registering a number is a good idea, but given the reputation of the police in Israel, probably not worth the time…
Here is some feedback I got by email:
#1
“I had a worthless piece of ____ bike that someone gave me for free and one even worse that someone sold me for 10 sheckels.
Both were locked up and stolen anyway.
The only way to keep it from being stolen on the street is to keep it in your apartment, which is a waste of space.”
#2
“1. If your front wheel and seat are quick-release, you should consider locking them when you lock your bike outside. I bought a 1.5 meter length of laundry-hanging cord (it’s white on the outside, has a metal core, and is very strong) and two metal clasps. The clasps look like small “u”s with a small bar that are tightened with screws. I used the clasps to make two small loops at either end of the cord. I got the cord and the clasps at the hardware store on Shenkin St.
When I lock my bike I pass the cord through a seat rail (under the seat) and the front tire, and then lock one of the loops with the big bike lock. I carry the cord, wound up, in my pocket while riding. It’s a lightweight solution to protecting your seat & wheel.
2. If you can, try to not leave your bike outside. Get as light a bike as you can, and don’t put anything on it that’s not necessary. To carry a bike up stairs, stand next to the bike, facing the rear. With your strongest arm, put your hand up near your shoulder (your thumb touching your shoulder). Bend your knees until you can get your hand under the seat, and stand up. You should now be able to climb a few flights of stairs and put your bike inside, which is always better than leaving it outside.
Happy riding!
Yonatan”
#3
“1. Learn how to take the front wheel off —- only takes seconds to do —- and then continue your market research to see if a wheel less bike is less attractive to the bike bad boys
2. If the above doesn’t work, learn how to repair punctures, but lots of puncture repair kits, and try slashing you tires every time you park your bike, to see if that helps.
3. If that doesn’t work, try attached an “already give” sign to the bike, in case the bad guys have a heart and want to be sympathetic to you.
4. If that doesn’t work, look for a bicycle that folds up into a size you can put in your handbag, so the bad guys can’t get access to it, and if you don’t find such a bicycle, try inventing one 😉
…
Stuart”
If this is the situation with all bikes then maybe this is the time to get bikes registered with the Min. of Transport with a serial no.(like cars) imprinted deep in/on the frame of the bike and frames of the wheels.
James, I had no idea you led such a sordid past! I just took my 200-shekel second hand hybrid חרא-mobile on a trip outside of Beer Sheva. To my shock, the bike survived a rather grueling three hours of rocky paths, but is now waiting for a flat tire replacement.
Karin, besides the ugly bike factor, getting a basket or a crate is an amazing treat for you and your wheels. Highly recommended.
What about a Folding-Bicycle?
You can take the bike with you any where:
bus, taxi, train, work, home etc.
no tools, no fuss!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6hYAvB7jkyA
or
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7yBTQWGIIpc
my mis-spent youth was spent ‘finding’ students bikes on the streets of Cambridge, dismantling them, then reassembling them into other bikes, and selling them back to the students. A crackin’ trade! until one day one of my finest creations, painted matt green I remember, collapsed under me midway across a buzy junction….that was the end of my dabbles in the bike racket!
great post Karin – let us know how long this one lasts….